Happy New Year. I can’t believe its been a year since finding out about my cancer. It’s definitely been some year, hasn’t it? I am happy to still be here. I have been through so much this past year and can’t believe how fast it went by. It’s crazy but it’s not over yet. Before I started chemo this time around I had a port put in. After the procedure, I got this really bad rash that went all the way up to my chin and down to my right breast on my right side where I had the port out in. I had no idea what it was then realized it was a reaction to the iodine they used to sterilize the area. That’s when I found out I am allergic to iodine medicine. At this point, I’m just waiting for it to heal before I have chemo again. The rash was going away slowly but surly but it was hurting really badly. I asked the doctor and told him everything but he didn’t seem concerned at the time so I was just dealing with it. I had a feeling something was wrong but I have already been through so much that I just trusted my doctor that it was normal and didn’t go with my gut. Always go with your gut. I should know this by now, right? I just didn’t want anymore to be wrong. I just wanted to get through this too and be okay so I just overlooked things. well, I didn’t even get to use my port. I had my first round of chemo and they didn’t want to use it because of the rash I had. A couple of days after that I was laying in bed at night and I started to shiver out of nowhere. I was fine all day then at 12 am I started to shiver. I thought I was just cold and was really tired so I just went to sleep. Then I woke up around 2:30 am and I was still shivering and I had a bad feeling so I woke my husband and we checked my temp and I had a 103 temp. I was kinda freaking out. I said to my husband that I need to go to the ER. So we woke my mom up and told her what was happening to let her know we had to leave. I was shivering so bad I could barely get dressed or walk. I was scared, I was worried because I didn’t know why I was sick out of nowhere. I just wanted to be okay again. The hospital checked me in right away because I just had chemo a couple of days ago and now I’m shivering and have a high temp. They kept asking me what I thought other then the port could be causing this like if I had any open sores or cuts because we didn’t want it to be the port, I just had it put in and I didn’t even get to use it. I said I think it’s my port and sure enough it was. I got a staph infection from it and I had to get it taken out. So after a five day stay, with having to break a fever three different times and a bunch of tests, antibiotics and the removal of the port I was finally able to go home. It was rough staying in the hospital for almost a week. My kids wondering where I was and if I’m okay. I missed out on taking my oldest daughter to a concert that we had planned. I was depressed in there. I also had chemo a few days prior and so my hair started to come out which made things worse. I just kept thinking I can do this and I will be home soon. This also delayed my second treatment of chemo for two weeks which wasn’t good because you know, I need it to save my life. I remember looking out the window, down at the people on the streets walking and the cars driving by and thinking I wish that was me. I felt like I was in prison. I felt trapped. All I could do was walk around the hall which I did when I could so that I could stay active and prevent blood clots and heal faster so I could leave. I was only supposed to be in there for two days but two days turned into five and it felt like for eternity. I felt like I was never going to get to go home. I was stuck in this bed, sick and losing my hair. I just felt so helpless. I am so grateful to all the doctors and nurses. I had the best team right there by my side to make sure I did get to go home. The nurses took great care of me. They made me feel better about being there and they really helped me through the whole process. My husband stayed most nights and my mom one night. When the doctor came in and told me I could go home I was over the moon. I had a nice view at least. I also got to see a big full rainbow that gave me hope right after I had just prayed to God. when I was in the car driving home, I just felt happy and I felt like one of those people that I saw outside my window. I was able to get back on track with my chemo and move on. I pray there are no more setbacks. I need to keep moving on.
-Lady Kitsune
Lady Kitsune 
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